Exquisite chaos.
I am posting this from my phone as I am curled up in the front seat of my buick, which is parked in the furthest most inconspicuous spot I could find of the Glacier National Park airport in Kalispell, Montana. It isn't all that cold anymore and I've certainly slept in my car before. In fact, that's exactly what I would likely be doing had I made it to the campgroung anyway. Alas! I am trapped. The silly ticket machine cannot read my debit card and there no attendents around to do anything about it, the airport itself is closed and won't let me in, and I even tried lifting the damned bar with all the reflector tape on it to let myself out (which also means accepting the fear that I may be immediately swarmed by airport security) but there is absolutely no way out.
Which brings me to my current location. And one has to wonder: how did my life end up here, exactly? Not that I'm complaining! I'm simply thinking back to all of the people I have met along the way, especially the ones that directly influnced choices I have made in my life, what not to do and advice for what to do that I either trusted or ignored all together. And: had I listened to that advice might I be elsewhere? Or: would I really, truly WANT to be elsewhere, because isn't it awesome to be alone in my automobile drifting in to the strange realms of my mind that I don't usually have time for while I listen to She Hangs Brightly by Mazzy Star another millionth time then The Rip Tide by Beirut for nostalgic comfort and would I ever want to change any of this for anything else, ever?
This is not a post about mail. Although, I will say that I've thought about what goodies might be awaiting me in my p.o. box every single day I was away from home, visiting my post home, good ol' ohio. I think first thing I do tomorrow is go check it in atnicipation even though it is out of the way from the rest of my plans and after I finally escape the confinement of the airport parking lot.
While visiting I was able to sit down with one correspondence partner and very dear friend to me, Adam a.k.a Count V, and discuss the project we've been hard at work with lately. I can't wait until I have enough material to start posting it- I would like most of the story to be ready in case something ridiculous comes up and one of us gets too busy and has to take some form of hiatus. I'm infatuated with the story and characters we've created. It also serves for excellent motivation to do good work.
Cincinnati was draining to the core and rejuvenating all at once. I don't sleep when I'm in that city (so many people to see, so little time!) And for some reason this time I also couldn't eat (stress/nerves/anxiety/you name it but for some reason I can manage to force feed myself french fries and pizza (plain cheese only) so I somehow survived on a diet of such). But seeing my family and friends and just running in to familiar faces all over the place constantly can really make a girl feel loved. Still, in the end I happy to be back in Montana, even if it means being alone.
Postcards from Italy by Beirut.
Tomorrow I will see some faces I haven't in a long time. Reunion is always overwhelming, and I've been doing a lot of it lately. I think I am prepared though. I think I can handle this season, despite it all, somehow, some way.
I'm very glad I have things like the project with Adam and IUOMA and Postcrossing and other pen pals, such as Rory Delaney (if you're reading this, thanks for the Titanic posters, which I think will be nice conversation pieces for the dorm I will share with Lauren this summer), for which to keep me flowing like a river current.
I hope you are somewhere safe and warm and loving, and I apologize if that screams 'hippie'. I sincerely and genuinely wish that every one could have a warm bed and a mailbox.
Drifting to sleep. In my sleeping bag. In my car. In the airport parking lot.
Who could ask for more?!
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